70. WHO STOLE THE COOKIE? (by STUART HUGGETT)

December is for demokratisation. Today’s blog, the second guest glimpse of the GANTOBverse, is skillfully imagined by Stuart Huggett. Accompanying photos are by GANTOB and Little Grapefruit.

Watch Stuart’s narration here:

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The Foundation Doktor is Christmas shopping but little has caught her eye. Following her grandfather’s dealings with the writer GANTOB, she’s recently bought a copy of The Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu’s novel ‘2023: A Trilogy’, reading it on her breaks. Two thirds of the way in, the book is getting a grip on her mind.

Heading down Canongate, she finds a record shop and steps inside. Glancing around the crates, she spots a divider marked KLF / TIMELORDS / JAMS. She picks out a lurid green and hi-viz pink album called ‘What Time Is Love LP’. It’s only £20 and the assistant throws in a free copy of ‘Doctorin’ The Tardis’ on 7” too, just because “we’ve got so many of the bloody things.” Pleased with herself, she forgets about Christmas shopping and heads home.

Once indoors she puts the kettle on, studying her purchases. The ‘What Time Is Love LP’ was “Compiled and collated by Dr Alexander Paterson” and the mysterious contributors include someone called Dr Felix. Dr who?

Doctor Who! She’d never been a fan but the return of David Tennant has piqued her interest. She’d developed a slight crush on him when ‘Staged’ aired as the world emerged from lockdown. A “Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?” chant is a running joke across its three series. The line rings a bell in her subconscious but she has no idea why. She does know that Tennant returning as the new Doctor is an unprecedented thing for the show to do.

Fetching her tea, she elects to read another ‘2023’ chapter. Book Three, Chapter 4, ‘Phone A Friend’. “Dear Reader” it starts, and she reads on.

“They have revived lots of the old programmes we all used to watch” she reads. “They still have Strictly and the Great British Bake Off. And they are making new episodes of Doctor Who – with the Daleks again. And David Tennant is back as the Doctor.”

The Doktor catches her breath and checks the copyright page, “First published in 2017 by Faber & Faber Limited.” How did they know? Had The JAMs predicted Tennant’s return? Had they caused it? She looks at the cover again. The eyeball on The Shard stares back at her.

Her head is spinning. She needs sugar. She takes her tea into the kitchen, sets it down and opens the tin. Damn. She’s out of biscuits.

Stuart Huggett

2 December 2023

Each of the intrepid explorers of the GANTOBverse have provided 400 words about the characters introduced in the first GANTOB book (published September 2023) and this blog. In return they will be sent a kopy of the book of this blog (planned for publikation 23 January 2024). Each household can provide up to three blogs. You can still provide a kontribution, as long as you have an excuse for late submission.