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  • LITTLE GRAPEFRUIT AT SEA (COMPLETE TEXT)
  • 35. META-MORPH

    Oct 28th, 2023

    I would like to clarify a few points before I take on the task of writing a few blogs.

    I have been bringing myself up to speed with the GANTOB project, reading the pamphlets that are available from KLFRS.COM, the emails to which GANTOB and The Benefaktor both have access via a shared gmail account (after turning off the confusing “conversation” view), and the GANTOB2023 social media posts and messages. This has not felt like an intrusion. It has been research, or at very least audit. I have found out some interesting details, such as where Curt Finks originally came from. This was revealed in the first version of pamphlet 11, which was originally called Konversion Factor, issued in an edition of one.

    I am way out of my depth with many of the cultural references in both GANTOB and The Benefaktor’s writing. These are not things that are usually covered in the podcasts or playlists that I listen to. And Instagram and YouTube do little to diversify your knowledge, though over the years I have become something of an expert in how puppies wake up their owners, who always seem to be asleep in broad daylight, meticulously groomed, in perfect sheets.

    I have plenty of time to read on the train. I change at Peterborough and again at Ely, with time to walk around the town and have a meal. I grab another book from Toppings and catch the train to Norwich in the nick of time. In Norwich I visit the library and a local newspaper office, before limping back to the family home in time for a predictably saccharine homecoming and bed as quickly as possible. The following day I head to Suffolk for further research, using my Mum’s car.

    But that is a convoluted way to reach my clarifications, which are not, you may be disappointed to hear, about Curt Finks. My discussion with GANTOB before I headed on my trip did not go well. GANTOB listened to my story of meeting The Benefaktor, my “retrieval” of his phone and plans to join the team. She had read my blog. She snippily said: “You’re Chas to The Benefaktor’s Morph” and rang off.

    Chas (left) and Morph (the nice one). Both are creations of Aardman Animation. Original source of this image is unknown, but please let me know if issues so I can credit/ removed.

    I need to say here and now that I will not accept the criticism. I am not “amoral, narcissistic, and dimwitted” and neither am I a friend of The Benefaktor. I have other plans.

    FOUNDATION DOKTOR

    28 October 2023

  • 34. MORT

    Oct 27th, 2023

    No characters shall be harmed in this post. The death referred to in the title is Roland Barthes’ theory of “La mort de l’auteur”. He wrote that the reader’s interpretation of a book is more important than the author’s intention, and that each reading brings new insights. As a minor author now myself, I have been reflecting on this concept recently.

    Wikipedia notes that Barthes’ idea was developed by the school of New Criticism in the US (1940-1970). The ‘”intentional fallacy” declares that a poem does not belong to its author; rather, “it is detached from the author at birth and goes about the world beyond his power to intend about it or control it. The poem belongs to the public.”’ That sounds very grand, but also democratic.

    I am asked a lot about the identity of GANTOB and The Benefaktor. That is not important. I am a former travelling salesperson, but not The Travelling Salesman. There are probably unintentional clues about the types of things that I have sold in my 30 years in the job, in my book, blog and videos. That is also unimportant. I could also say that I have written a book, pamphlets and a blog, but I am not a writer. Indeed, what makes a writer?

    The start of part two of 2023: A trilogy by The JAMs – the page by Roberta Antonia Wilson, channelling George Orwell or whoever else – is, for me, the most important part of the book. She writes:

    “Reading back through [book 1]… it feels like it has been written for an audience of less than half a dozen. It feels like I was just trying to layer the whole thing with all sorts of reference points to impress… well, whoever it is, I don’t know”.

    Well, if this blog is intended as a re-enactment or re-positioning of 2023: A trilogy, then it appears to be on the right track. The readership numbers are carefully monitored by WordPress, and hover at around 10 people a day. And layers of characters and references? Tick.

    Curt Finks died twenty years ago and was never published. Today his writing may, or may not, be about to be hung on the wall of four GANTOB readers. 2023: A trilogy has been re-read by at least one person this morning. In part two of this blog you will be invited to make your own kontributions.

    GANTOB 27 October 2023

  • 33. PRIZE GIVING

    Oct 26th, 2023

    My GANTOB (book) re-enactment (2023) was finished on 18 September 2023, printed, and copies sent out from 23 September. In the period between 18 and 23 September I wrote Kompanion Volume. Ten pages of that 19-page publication focused on a letter sent decades earlier.

    First Prize goes to Daft Brand. He used a glass table to reconstruct the story.

    We know that Curt Finks, my father-in-law, sent a story in snips to a literary magazine on 15 June 1987. Each snip had a word on one side, a number on the other. The potential reader would need to order the snips numerically to reveal the story. The editor appears never to have opened this envelope, so the story was neither considered nor rejected. I intended to reproduce this story with the GANTOB book package. I ran out of time (through the rules of Kreative Tyranny), but ten copies were sent out in snips as intended, the rest left intact with instructions to snip before attempting to assemble (a workaround by The Benefaktor). Finding escaped snips from the ten envelopes the evening before posting, I included a rescue sheet with the book pack.

    The personalised awards. produced from The Benefaktor’s photos from Lochend Park (not Brent Geese)

    On 7 October, with no evidence that any of the original recipients had attempted to reconstruct the story, I decided to extend the challenge to a wider audience (repositioning), and with The Benefaktor created a devilish challenge for social media. I reformatted the snips, with word and number on the same side, cut up the sheet, and stuck them in random order on a new sheet, checking them thoroughly to ensure that there were no missing snips. The Benefaktor reconstructed the story using my physical sheet as the first GANTOB/ The Benefaktor artistic collaboration.

    Individual art work produced by GANTOB and The Benefaktor, each in an edition of one

    A fresh competition was set, asking applicants to print and cut out the snips, complete the challenge, and send me the answer (a year) and photographic evidence of completion by 23:23 on 9 October. Four intrepid ornithologists completed this task. All, it turned out, were recipients of the book:

    • DaftBrand (first prize), who used a glass table, wins the GANTOB/ Benefaktor original
    • Andrew, Missiformation and Loop (runners up). Andrew looked for hidden meaning but ultimately found the simple answer (1987)
    • Skellbert and Missiformation disagreed on the answer, submitting 1680 (EURING code for Brent geese) and 1987 respectively
    • LoopManiac submitted a fully stuck down submission
    LoopManiac’s solution
    Some of Andrew’s workings

    Their prizes are in the post, with evidence of prize production (each a unique artwork) shown below. Thank you all for your kontributions!

    GANTOB

    26 October 2023

    This marks the end of part one of this re-enactment of 2023: A trilogy (a blog in 99 parts for the last days of 2023).

    The six videos are available here (and on Instagram):

    GANTOB and The Benefaktor collaborate (not available in all countries) to produce The First Prize for Daft Brand (note that the latter does not feature a track from 1987, but a Whitney themed substitute).

    Snipping, folding and sticking to produce the Koncertina edition (for Andrew and Nyla), under a process of Kreative Konvenience (keeping the snips together, rather than sticking each word individually).

    Spinning version (for Christine and Skellbert) – the original plan to do this with stop motion animation was rejected, using The Benefaktor’s turntable instead.

    Wild goose chase in rushes edition for LoopManiac (because he already had a fully stuck solution).

  • 32. META-FORM

    Oct 25th, 2023

    The Foundation Doktor is relaxing on a day off, after three gruelling 12-hour shifts. She has been reading 2023: A trilogy in her time off. She likes the references to children’s books. And she has spotted from GANTOB’s social media activity and pamphlets that that tradition has continued with Judith Kerr’s Mog and Julia Donaldson and Alex Scheffler’s Squash and a Squeeze* both mentioned. 

    The Foundation Doktor thinks that it is time to introduce a book that she enjoyed from her childhood – Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart. She loves the idea of characters stepping out of the page, into the real world. There are parallels with Pandora’s box, but she is confident that such perils can be avoided. No goat-themed villains for this blog. 

    The following day she is back on The Benefaktor’s ward, doing her usual rounds. She has a wrench, some brown tape and a change of clothes with her. She closes the door behind her, draws the internal blinds to the corridor, and forces the external window open. She steps out and jumps onto the grass below her, enjoying the softness after 23 years stuck in her paper prison. She tapes the window shut, aware of The Benefaktor’s querulous voice shouting from inside.

    Changing out of scrubs into the clothes that she has carried with her she steps out into our world. She folds her clinical garb neatly and packs it down in her bag, placing her sandwiches carefully on top. Her paperback copy of 2023: A trilogy is slipped into the document section of her rucksack. She starts running. 

    The Foundation Doktor has Bill Drummond’s The Man on her phone. It is not traditional running music, but somehow it hits the spot. She is thinking through some of the reviews of the original 2023: A trilogy. A meta-narrative, beholden to its sources, purposefully creating confusion, understood only by existing fans of The KLF. She is keen to learn from that feedback, and extend the appeal of the blog. But that risks losing the KLF-centred readership GANTOB’s built up.

    The slide guitar and upbeat acoustic rhythms take her somewhere else, so the pavement, tachycardia and dyspnoea are barely perceptible even as she increases her speed. She slips another phone out of a zipped pocket, and turns it on. The Benefaktor’s screensaver (a cat) fires up. She types in the too-obvious password, and dials GANTOB for the first time.

    THE FOUNDATION DOKTOR

    25 Oktober 2023

    * Or KLFRS.com/gantob, pamphlet 8

  • 31. KOLOUR/ LIFT/ FINISHING

    Oct 24th, 2023

    The Benefaktor has been posting in monochrome. Perhaps it relates to his new status in the GANTOB projekt. Voted off by the readers, returning to a dream state, or perhaps having Krossed. On the plus side, an “accident”, a possible death and a tricky relationship with reality will strengthen the claim that this is a re-enactment of 2023: A trilogy.

    As we approach post 33 – the finale of the first part of this “trilogy” in 99 blogs, and a number with klear Bill Drummond konnotations – I need to do a bit of tidying up emotionally and practically in this post and my next. The Beneftaktor will do his thing in between. He has accused me of not being a “starter-finisher”. I have to prove him wrong, but I have a lot of video editing and packaging before I can make that klaim.

    I am sitting on a bench in Kingussie, bursting for a pee, waiting for a friend to pick me up and take me back to The Manse. I rest back, appreciating the autumn kolours. I think about the challenges in opening up the kreative process for others to kontribute. Ko-produktion. This started with the book of course, with the questions and interactions feeding into the quotes section, social media aktivity and some of the pamphlets. The konnektions became an essential part of the project. But giving The Benefaktor free rein on the blog was arguably an act of trust too far. Our kontrasting/ konflikting styles have taken the blog in unexpekted direktions, but it’s hardly Lennon and McCartney, or Bacharach and David. There are more promising kollaborations elsewhere perhaps.

    I traipse up the River Gynack to the public toilets. It’s a kalkulated risk. I might miss my lift as a result. I think about Yoko Ono Jr and the lonely figure she cuts in 2023: A trilogy. Everybody else seems to be having a party in that book. Similarly, I remember that I will not be going to Toxteth Day of the Dead this November. I am konfident that The Benefaktor will not be there either. Diffikult to spoil the party if you’re not there I suppose.

    I check for notifications on the @gantob2023 Twitter and Instagram accounts. Loyal GANTOB follower Missiformation has solved The Benefaktor’s challenge from yesterday, and shared some reflektions about GANTOB. This gives me the dopamine hit I need. No messages from my lift though.

    Reflektions by Missiformation, using template from GANTOB’s Kompanion Volume

    GANTOB

    24 Oktober 2023

  • 30. WHITE ROOM

    Oct 23rd, 2023

    “Zeroing in on the cause of your fever will help us guide treatment”, came the reply, as a host of faces crowded around the bed. Yellow, red and brown tubes were filled, followed by two receptacles that looked like Lee and Perrins Worcester Sauce bottles. X-rays inspected on laptop screens pushed around on trolleys (“COWS: computers on wheels” they call them), rather than the light boxes you see on the TV; no more Dr Kildare. Worried faces. Voices above the beeping of drip machines, syringe drivers and an alarming hospital bed.

    Urgent referrals, with the same questions repeated from the different specialists who visit throughout the day. Telescoping time, on lubricated joints, slipping in and out of dimension.

    Still for a moment, after all the bustle, I look around the room, taking it in properly for the first time in daylight. Removing equipment and furniture from our view, the room is glaringly white, bathed in artificial light with the red alert storm outside.

    Quietly working in the background are nursing staff, also all in white. Periodically a doctor or domestic pops in, uniforms providing additional colour. Offers of food are declined. Nil by mouth, under strict orders of the consultant.

    Most of the day is spent sleeping, interspersed with bursts of sharp pain or nausea inducing trips along long corridors, also mainly white, apart from the occasional poster, often legacies from the Covid pandemic.

    Jargon fills the air during ward rounds and when on the receiving end of the multitude of tests and investigations.

    I work with The Foundation Doctor to capture the experience, dictating the words as she types away on her mobile during snatched breaks. Holding the little screen to my face she helps me select accompanying photos. Google Images usually rises to the challenge, with my amateurish snaps backed up since I acquired a smart phone.

    Evening falls, and the room returns to its black and white as the lights are dimmed and blinds drawn. Doctors change shift, but The Foundation Doctor is back finalising this blog with me in her time off.

    Certain details are still missing from my story, and other memories are tangled up in my fever dreams. Blogging is helping my recovery we agree, progressively documenting my thoughts as prompts for future “forgetful days”. Anchored in my bed I have a three-letter acronym nagging away, poking about inside, teasingly, just out of reach.

    THE BENEFAKTOR, ABLY ASSISTED BY THE FOUNDATION DOCTOR

    23 OCTOBER 2023

  • 29. KONSOLATION

    Oct 22nd, 2023

    The Benefaktor beat me to it yesterday, in his unexpected return. I have seesawed between relief and resentment ever since. I’m glad he’s not followed the fictional John Lennon Jr’s fate at the hands of his equally made-up partner-in-crime Yoko Ono Jr (AKA the original GANTOB). However, it sounds as if he’s in bad shape, still in hospital more than a week after his fall, with physical limitations and significant gaps in his memory. This gives me some hope, however, as it is less likely that I will be implicated in his “accident”. I have sent him a message saying there is plenty of opportunity for both of us if he sticks to blogging on alternate days. If I am posting this as planned on Sunday 22 October then he has stuck to this plan.

    I am fully occupied packaging up the products of my first joint venture with The Benefaktor, now that the double-sided frames have arrived: A re-enactment of The JAMs’ LP 1987. You may have seen the videos of the making🎥 and unveiling🎥 of the first prize. It was only after posting it I realised we hadn’t mentioned Curt Finks, either on the side with his Brent Goose Rock story, or the flip with goose photo. Curt would have loved telling us that the birds were not Brent geese. But he would not have been impressed with us “sampling” his work without mention of the author. I will perhaps rectify this on the second copy that I am packaging up now. But I will not be made to feel guilty about it either, because The Benefaktor and I have probably spent as much time reproducing the story in paper and glue as Curt did writing, and he and his wife Norah then endured tagging the birds in the East Anglian fens.

    In contrast, it felt too easy cutting out strips rather than “snips”, and sticking whole rows of words in a single action. So we agreed on a “koncertina“🎥 approach to reduce the white space, adding texture and interest, mimicking the GANTOB/ Benefaktor original. This repeated the difficulties pressing the additional thickness within the glass panes into the chunky frame, and the screeching noise that transformed the cats to a bundle of teeth and claws. I close the doors before inserting. I also have a plan for the offcuts. I credit Curt in biro and keep packing. 

    GANTOB

    22 October 2023

  • 28. BLACK AND WHITE

    Oct 21st, 2023

    We interrupt this blog…

    An old man, but not The Elderly Gentleman is lying in a hospital bed. He is aware of voices, pain, and a sense of vast expanses of time passing. Eventually he manages to open one eye, then the other. He is seeing black and white. Black from his left eye, which seems to be covered, and white from his right. He peers around with the latter. He is in a room. It is dimly lit, with lots of shadows. It appears to be night-time.

    He hears a drone, or perhaps it is a low tinnitus. A door in the corner to the right is open, with bright light spilling out. He is suddenly aware of a silhouette in the doorway, which turns and puts out the light. The drone stops.

    “I’m just here to take a blood sample”, explains the intruder. No, that’s not right, it’s The Foundation Doktor. He remembers her now, in her mismatched scrubs and turquoise stethoscope. Her Essex accent. He feels a wipe at the crook of his arm, the smell of alcohol, a band of tightness, a jab, some pressure combined with softness.

    “All done. I’ll need to press for quite a long time because of the blood thinning treatment you’re on”, she whispers.

    They talk for a few minutes. He hears about the circumstances of his admission, as if for the first time. But The Foundation Doktor has apparently told him this story many times.

    He tells her the things that he does and does not remember.

    Name – no.

    Identity – The Benefaktor.

    Address – no.

    Phone number – where is my phone?

    The Foundation Doktor has a look around, without success.

    Employment – no. Hobbies – writing a book, or is that a blog.

    Next of kin – not GANTOB. The name seems to come from nowhere.

    Home circumstances – can’t remember.

    “Anything else I can help you with before I go?”

    The Benefaktor has an idea. He pokes around in his recent memory, like a medical student trying to find a vein, and finds a rich seam of information.

    Username – tick.

    Password – tick.

    Content – tick.

     So between themselves The Benefaktor and The Foundation Doktor start writing some new blogs and upload them under the cover of night, when GANTOB is asleep. Kreative Tyranny dictates that when a blog is uploaded, it cannot be undone.

    THE BENEFAKTOR, WITH HELP FROM THE FOUNDATION DOKTOR

    21 October 2023

  • 27. FOUR HUNDRED

    Oct 20th, 2023

    Wednesday’s post was titled “400“. We have unfinished business with that number.

    When I first talked to The Benefaktor about his initial blog posts, we landed on the idea that 400 would be a realistic daily kontribution, allowing some progress of the narrative with each blog. With 27 posts under our belt and the first stage of re-enacting Curt Finks’ story now kompleted, I have had an opportunity to reflekt on that.

    We do not know the circumstances under which Curt Finks wrote his story Brent Goose Rock. We can speculate, however, on the basis of his sermon writing and repeated Fringe show, that he will have worked away on it, refining it, until he was happy enough to cut it up and send it to the literary journal. He won’t have had spellcheck or other tools we take for granted. There may have been a tight deadline.

    In the process of destroying and rebuilding his story word-for-word The Benefaktor and I could see typos and areas for improvement, for example in avoiding duplication of words such as “looked” or “threw”. The Benefaktor added in a “glanced” at one point to avoid such repetition. We took pleasure knocking Curt’s story about a bit, improving his work.

    Creating a well-crafted 400 words without such errors is a skilled task. I am reminded of this every time I look back at a piece I have written under the principles of self-imposed Kreative Tyranny. The pressure of writing a story or blog before rushing out to a meeting, or any of the other challenges of modern life, means there will always be room for improvement. I’m writing today’s blog, for example, before diggers arrive to install new broadband.

    I read over my previous work with a sense of trepidation, knowing I will stumble across inkonsistencies, mistakes in analysis or interpretation, and genuine howlers. Take my first announcement as GANTOB at the end of July. At just 150 words it konfused quite a lot of people. It was too wordy, had too many questions and answers. C’est la vie. A recent blog (23. Twenty-three) revealed a typo in the book, in a short Bill Drummond quote. Talk about careless. But we soldier on.

    I am not going to kommit to zero-error blogs, or perfekt books. What I will do, however, is promise to read and respekt all writing, and try to treat typos tolerantly.

    GANTOB

    20 October 2023

    Cover image for today’s blog is from earlier GANTOB aktivities (with Margate Bookshop)

  • 26. ROW

    Oct 19th, 2023

    The Photographer was on the warpath. He looked like his 8-year-old self in a classroom squabble, a 75-year-old row in the offing. I slipped my phone back in my pocket, stomach rumbling with the late hour.

    “An early evening celebration” was the wording on the wedding invitation. We all knew this was to hide The Photographer’s wrinkles. However, my behaviour meant that fury had ironed out any evidence of age. Perhaps that had been his intention.

    I was aware that in contrast to my pallor in the church I was now flushed, uncertain whether from reciprocal anger, childhood memories, or embarrassment as I saw my wife looking on. I could not use my near faint as an excuse.

    I stammered out an attempted explanation, as I too slipped three quarters of a century to my 7-year-old self. My excuses were not going to help, but as usual The Photographer’s disgruntlement dissipated now that his regularly practised show of petulance had been performed. He slunk back to his new wife, and I accompanied my old wife to our car.

    The reception was no expenses spared. It was completely dark by the time the speeches were underway. My wife and I sat at the edge of the tent. I positioned myself so that the screen of my phone would not be reflected in the windows. I typed in the email address from the pamphlet, wrote out a rather convoluted message about finding the plane under the bridge, its rediscovery in my suit pocket earlier that day, and the fact that it had almost caused a fight with one of my oldest acquaintances. Perhaps echoing this last point, but without repeating The Photographer’s foul language, I asked what “it” was all about.

    A reply came during the speech from the father-of-the-bride (who was considerably younger than The Photographer). It read: “Many thanks for your email. I had wondered what had happened to that plane. I last saw it plummeting to a ledge on the bridge at Waterloo Place, as one in a series of disappointing launches. I had worried that somebody might attempt to retrieve it, but if I understand your message korrectly it sounds as if gravity eventually had its effect. I have had a series of questions on a similar theme – do you have any kontext to add kolour to your applikation. Yours, GANTOB”.

    Why all the Ks? I wondered.

    THE BENEFAKTOR

    19 October 2023

    As retrieved by GANTOB from WordPress draft posts

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