GANTOB blog

38. ALMANAK

Oct 31st, 2023

Ali and I are unsettled. We are talking about the “personal delivery” of a new story by Curt Finks. Either our cover is blown, The Benefaktor is out of hospital, or someone is acting on his behalf. But The Foundation Doktor is apparently in East Anglia. Nobody else knows the location of The Manse. I have read the final “meta” blog planned by The Benefaktor/ The Foundation Doktor, saved as scheduled post on the WordPress system. “They” are up to something.

I do not usually share GANTOB business with Ali, but I thought that in this instance he needs to know as it potentially concerns his late father Curt Finks. We have had some successes in unearthing Curt’s unpublished writing, and occasionally his Edinburgh Fringe programmes or flyers come up at auction, or are found slipped inside a book as a bookmark. But we can’t yet verify the provenance of this new story.

Ali checks his CF spreadsheet. One of the columns is incomplete so he goes to his shed to look through his Dad’s things. He comes back a few minutes later with the 1986 copy of the Keighley Literary Almanac*. Turning to the pages with his father’s pencil annotations he runs a finger down the list, entering missing details about each journal’s conditions for submission. There is not a consistent format in the printed text, but Curt appears to have followed up the rules with selected editors and has added details in his neat hand. “Stet” he writes above one word, the smudge of a substandard eraser partially concealing the text. Ticks beside the first line of the address or phone number could indicate either enquiry or submission. Ali completes as many details as possible on his spreadsheet and then shakes his head. None of the highlighted journals’ rules match the details from this new Curt Finks story.

We return to the personal delivery of the envelope. Ali goes into a rambling story about the plot of a murder mystery he finished recently, where the serial killer attempts to divert attention by committing further crimes with the same MO, but ever more distant from his hometown. Might The Foundation Doktor actually be holed up in Badenoch rather than East Anglia, waiting to revenge The Benefaktor’s fall? But a blog apparently posted elsewhere would surely be a very flimsy alibi. We will lock our doors and snib our windows.

GANTOB

31 OKTOBER 2023

* To give it its full title, we should add “/Fanzine” after Literary.
37. META-PHYSICK

Oct 30th, 2023

Like The Benefaktor, I have come to the work of The KLF late. Unlike The Benefaktor, however, I am at the start of my career. And, unlike The KLF, the Foundation part of my work comes first. You might know other terms better – house officer, or resident perhaps.

I will not get embroiled in the rights or wrongs of The K Foundation. I am going to start at the beginning. Before The KLF there was The JAMs. GANTOB and The Benefaktor have already discussed 1987 and related releases. Skipping over their glitterati doctor we then land on The Manual (How to have a number one the easy way), from 1988.

I am writing this back in Edinburgh, sitting on a bench in The Physic Garden, near Holyrood Palace. It’s a physical place, not one of the many lost physick gardens of Edinburgh. It’s a quiet spot, that connects you back to the origins of medicine. I take my headphones off, listen, and write.

At medical school I was taught to put things in context, to give definitions.

Metaphysical: an idea, doctrine, or posited reality outside of human sense perception.

Meta: (of a creative work) referring to itself or to the conventions of its genre; self-referential

Physick: An archaic term for a laxative, or for the practice of medicine generally, in pre-modern medicine.

The intersection of these terms seems a good place to be. Perhaps The KLF have some advice. I search The Manual. They seemed to like the term “metaphysical” thirty-five years ago. Here are the three instances that I spotted when I read it:

‘On a far less metaphysical level, groove has to be understood in the practical terms of beats, bars and BPM’s.’

‘We just tried to keep up with it, hoping people would notice our crazy asides and metaphysical jibes as the whole thing fire-balled itself to The Top.’

‘Maybe an attempt at metaphysical wit. “Expect nothing, accept everything”, something like that.’

A colloquial application of the term then, but telling nonetheless. I suspect they still enjoy and use the word.

It’s getting a bit chilly. I need to return to my room soon anyway, to prepare for another run of nightshifts. I’ve barely recovered from the last. I pick up a readymeal from a tiny convenience store and then head back, wondering what to say to The Benefaktor about my trips, discoveries, and recent personal delivery.

FOUNDATION DOKTOR

30 October 2023
36. ALL CUT UP

Oct 29th, 2023

I have wasted my extra hour today, the end of British Summer Time. Waking at my usual hour, 06:00, I meandered down to my study, doing a couple of the word puzzles that The Benefaktor mentioned in a previous post, and popping on my tea kettle to 80^oC. This far north (Badenoch), dawn is half an hour later than say London at this time of the year. The extra hour gained by putting the clocks back is important, and I relished the ability to do some preparation for this week’s blogs. The Foundation Doktor’s posts on alternate days are also taking the pressure off.

Half the way through my mug (and midway through typing up my planned blog) I heard a noise from the porch. I wondered initially if we had shut one the cats in the porch, but quickly discounted that because I had both on my knee after their competitively gobbled breakfast. They shifted grudgingly in anticipation as I moved to go through to investigate. On the flagstone floor lay a long thin white letter envelope. It was not stamped or franked, but had the following words typed directly onto the paper:

‘Newly discovered Curt Finks story.

292 words in story (including title).

107 words in covering “letter”.

Use in any order you like (all 399 words) to create your own short story.’

I felt the envelope, noting the characteristic bulge at the bottom corner. I opened it carefully, with tray at the ready, to catch the neatly chopped pieces of paper. Each snip had a word on one side, but no number on the reverse. I sifted through them looking for a pattern, noting some apparently highlighted snips. This was going to take some reconstructing.

After breakfast, Ali joined me. He mansplained the lack of a postal service on a Sunday (as I knew he would) and attempted to find a quick answer to the puzzle (which I knew he wouldn’t). He sauntered off, defeated, to ready himself for the day’s service. I tinkered around, blog forgotten, until around 10:40 GMT (service forgotten). I would be in trouble. I had established that there were indeed 399 snips, and took a photo.

I’m posting this under my pew, and set you this challenge:

Produce a coherent story from these 399 words, by 23:23 on 19 November for a chance to win a related original artwork by yours truly.

GANTOB

29 October 2023

Help me find the most plausible use of these words. Email your entry (one per household) to 100percentvinyl2@gmail.com or direct message me on Instagram or Twitter(X): @GANTOB2023. Entries must be typed, in the body of the message or in a standard word processor format. No late entries accepted – closes at 23:23 on 19 November (your timezone). Use all 399 words and no more. Choose your own punctuation and add or drop capitals as required. Please include your full name and postal address. The artwork sent to the winner (one prize only, winner chosen by GANTOB) will be unframed, A4 size, produced from printer paper and Pritt stick on 300g/m² hot pressed grain satine paper. A stop-motion animation of the artwork will also be dedicated to the winner in due course.

*** CHECK OUT THE UPDATED RULES (AFTER THE FOUNDATION DOKTOR’S APOLOGY 5 NOVEMBER 2023) ***
35. META-MORPH

Oct 28th, 2023

I would like to clarify a few points before I take on the task of writing a few blogs.

I have been bringing myself up to speed with the GANTOB project, reading the pamphlets that are available from KLFRS.COM, the emails to which GANTOB and The Benefaktor both have access via a shared gmail account (after turning off the confusing “conversation” view), and the GANTOB2023 social media posts and messages. This has not felt like an intrusion. It has been research, or at very least audit. I have found out some interesting details, such as where Curt Finks originally came from. This was revealed in the first version of pamphlet 11, which was originally called Konversion Factor, issued in an edition of one.

I am way out of my depth with many of the cultural references in both GANTOB and The Benefaktor’s writing. These are not things that are usually covered in the podcasts or playlists that I listen to. And Instagram and YouTube do little to diversify your knowledge, though over the years I have become something of an expert in how puppies wake up their owners, who always seem to be asleep in broad daylight, meticulously groomed, in perfect sheets.

I have plenty of time to read on the train. I change at Peterborough and again at Ely, with time to walk around the town and have a meal. I grab another book from Toppings and catch the train to Norwich in the nick of time. In Norwich I visit the library and a local newspaper office, before limping back to the family home in time for a predictably saccharine homecoming and bed as quickly as possible. The following day I head to Suffolk for further research, using my Mum’s car.

But that is a convoluted way to reach my clarifications, which are not, you may be disappointed to hear, about Curt Finks. My discussion with GANTOB before I headed on my trip did not go well. GANTOB listened to my story of meeting The Benefaktor, my “retrieval” of his phone and plans to join the team. She had read my blog. She snippily said: “You’re Chas to The Benefaktor’s Morph” and rang off.

Chas (left) and Morph (the nice one). Both are creations of Aardman Animation. Original source of this image is unknown, but please let me know if issues so I can credit/ removed.

I need to say here and now that I will not accept the criticism. I am not “amoral, narcissistic, and dimwitted” and neither am I a friend of The Benefaktor. I have other plans.

FOUNDATION DOKTOR

28 October 2023
34. MORT

Oct 27th, 2023

No characters shall be harmed in this post. The death referred to in the title is Roland Barthes’ theory of “La mort de l’auteur”. He wrote that the reader’s interpretation of a book is more important than the author’s intention, and that each reading brings new insights. As a minor author now myself, I have been reflecting on this concept recently.

Wikipedia notes that Barthes’ idea was developed by the school of New Criticism in the US (1940-1970). The ‘”intentional fallacy” declares that a poem does not belong to its author; rather, “it is detached from the author at birth and goes about the world beyond his power to intend about it or control it. The poem belongs to the public.”’ That sounds very grand, but also democratic.

I am asked a lot about the identity of GANTOB and The Benefaktor. That is not important. I am a former travelling salesperson, but not The Travelling Salesman. There are probably unintentional clues about the types of things that I have sold in my 30 years in the job, in my book, blog and videos. That is also unimportant. I could also say that I have written a book, pamphlets and a blog, but I am not a writer. Indeed, what makes a writer?

The start of part two of 2023: A trilogy by The JAMs – the page by Roberta Antonia Wilson, channelling George Orwell or whoever else – is, for me, the most important part of the book. She writes:

“Reading back through [book 1]… it feels like it has been written for an audience of less than half a dozen. It feels like I was just trying to layer the whole thing with all sorts of reference points to impress… well, whoever it is, I don’t know”.

Well, if this blog is intended as a re-enactment or re-positioning of 2023: A trilogy, then it appears to be on the right track. The readership numbers are carefully monitored by WordPress, and hover at around 10 people a day. And layers of characters and references? Tick.

Curt Finks died twenty years ago and was never published. Today his writing may, or may not, be about to be hung on the wall of four GANTOB readers. 2023: A trilogy has been re-read by at least one person this morning. In part two of this blog you will be invited to make your own kontributions.

GANTOB 27 October 2023
33. PRIZE GIVING

Oct 26th, 2023
My GANTOB (book) re-enactment (2023) was finished on 18 September 2023, printed, and copies sent out from 23 September. In the period between 18 and 23 September I wrote Kompanion Volume. Ten pages of that 19-page publication focused on a letter sent decades earlier.

First Prize goes to Daft Brand. He used a glass table to reconstruct the story.

We know that Curt Finks, my father-in-law, sent a story in snips to a literary magazine on 15 June 1987. Each snip had a word on one side, a number on the other. The potential reader would need to order the snips numerically to reveal the story. The editor appears never to have opened this envelope, so the story was neither considered nor rejected. I intended to reproduce this story with the GANTOB book package. I ran out of time (through the rules of Kreative Tyranny), but ten copies were sent out in snips as intended, the rest left intact with instructions to snip before attempting to assemble (a workaround by The Benefaktor). Finding escaped snips from the ten envelopes the evening before posting, I included a rescue sheet with the book pack.

The personalised awards. produced from The Benefaktor’s photos from Lochend Park (not Brent Geese)

On 7 October, with no evidence that any of the original recipients had attempted to reconstruct the story, I decided to extend the challenge to a wider audience (repositioning), and with The Benefaktor created a devilish challenge for social media. I reformatted the snips, with word and number on the same side, cut up the sheet, and stuck them in random order on a new sheet, checking them thoroughly to ensure that there were no missing snips. The Benefaktor reconstructed the story using my physical sheet as the first GANTOB/ The Benefaktor artistic collaboration.

Individual art work produced by GANTOB and The Benefaktor, each in an edition of one

A fresh competition was set, asking applicants to print and cut out the snips, complete the challenge, and send me the answer (a year) and photographic evidence of completion by 23:23 on 9 October. Four intrepid ornithologists completed this task. All, it turned out, were recipients of the book:
- DaftBrand (first prize), who used a glass table, wins the GANTOB/ Benefaktor original
- Andrew, Missiformation and Loop (runners up). Andrew looked for hidden meaning but ultimately found the simple answer (1987)
- Skellbert and Missiformation disagreed on the answer, submitting 1680 (EURING code for Brent geese) and 1987 respectively
- LoopManiac submitted a fully stuck down submission
LoopManiac’s solution

Some of Andrew’s workings

Their prizes are in the post, with evidence of prize production (each a unique artwork) shown below. Thank you all for your kontributions!

GANTOB

26 October 2023

This marks the end of part one of this re-enactment of 2023: A trilogy (a blog in 99 parts for the last days of 2023).

The six videos are available here (and on Instagram):

GANTOB and The Benefaktor collaborate (not available in all countries) to produce The First Prize for Daft Brand (note that the latter does not feature a track from 1987, but a Whitney themed substitute).

Snipping, folding and sticking to produce the Koncertina edition (for Andrew and Nyla), under a process of Kreative Konvenience (keeping the snips together, rather than sticking each word individually).

Spinning version (for Christine and Skellbert) – the original plan to do this with stop motion animation was rejected, using The Benefaktor’s turntable instead.

Wild goose chase in rushes edition for LoopManiac (because he already had a fully stuck solution).
32. META-FORM

Oct 25th, 2023

The Foundation Doktor is relaxing on a day off, after three gruelling 12-hour shifts. She has been reading 2023: A trilogy in her time off. She likes the references to children’s books. And she has spotted from GANTOB’s social media activity and pamphlets that that tradition has continued with Judith Kerr’s Mog and Julia Donaldson and Alex Scheffler’s Squash and a Squeeze* both mentioned.

The Foundation Doktor thinks that it is time to introduce a book that she enjoyed from her childhood – Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart. She loves the idea of characters stepping out of the page, into the real world. There are parallels with Pandora’s box, but she is confident that such perils can be avoided. No goat-themed villains for this blog.

The following day she is back on The Benefaktor’s ward, doing her usual rounds. She has a wrench, some brown tape and a change of clothes with her. She closes the door behind her, draws the internal blinds to the corridor, and forces the external window open. She steps out and jumps onto the grass below her, enjoying the softness after 23 years stuck in her paper prison. She tapes the window shut, aware of The Benefaktor’s querulous voice shouting from inside.

Changing out of scrubs into the clothes that she has carried with her she steps out into our world. She folds her clinical garb neatly and packs it down in her bag, placing her sandwiches carefully on top. Her paperback copy of 2023: A trilogy is slipped into the document section of her rucksack. She starts running.

The Foundation Doktor has Bill Drummond’s The Man on her phone. It is not traditional running music, but somehow it hits the spot. She is thinking through some of the reviews of the original 2023: A trilogy. A meta-narrative, beholden to its sources, purposefully creating confusion, understood only by existing fans of The KLF. She is keen to learn from that feedback, and extend the appeal of the blog. But that risks losing the KLF-centred readership GANTOB’s built up.

The slide guitar and upbeat acoustic rhythms take her somewhere else, so the pavement, tachycardia and dyspnoea are barely perceptible even as she increases her speed. She slips another phone out of a zipped pocket, and turns it on. The Benefaktor’s screensaver (a cat) fires up. She types in the too-obvious password, and dials GANTOB for the first time.

THE FOUNDATION DOKTOR

25 Oktober 2023

* Or KLFRS.com/gantob, pamphlet 8
31. KOLOUR/ LIFT/ FINISHING

Oct 24th, 2023

The Benefaktor has been posting in monochrome. Perhaps it relates to his new status in the GANTOB projekt. Voted off by the readers, returning to a dream state, or perhaps having Krossed. On the plus side, an “accident”, a possible death and a tricky relationship with reality will strengthen the claim that this is a re-enactment of 2023: A trilogy.

As we approach post 33 – the finale of the first part of this “trilogy” in 99 blogs, and a number with klear Bill Drummond konnotations – I need to do a bit of tidying up emotionally and practically in this post and my next. The Beneftaktor will do his thing in between. He has accused me of not being a “starter-finisher”. I have to prove him wrong, but I have a lot of video editing and packaging before I can make that klaim.

I am sitting on a bench in Kingussie, bursting for a pee, waiting for a friend to pick me up and take me back to The Manse. I rest back, appreciating the autumn kolours. I think about the challenges in opening up the kreative process for others to kontribute. Ko-produktion. This started with the book of course, with the questions and interactions feeding into the quotes section, social media aktivity and some of the pamphlets. The konnektions became an essential part of the project. But giving The Benefaktor free rein on the blog was arguably an act of trust too far. Our kontrasting/ konflikting styles have taken the blog in unexpekted direktions, but it’s hardly Lennon and McCartney, or Bacharach and David. There are more promising kollaborations elsewhere perhaps.

I traipse up the River Gynack to the public toilets. It’s a kalkulated risk. I might miss my lift as a result. I think about Yoko Ono Jr and the lonely figure she cuts in 2023: A trilogy. Everybody else seems to be having a party in that book. Similarly, I remember that I will not be going to Toxteth Day of the Dead this November. I am konfident that The Benefaktor will not be there either. Diffikult to spoil the party if you’re not there I suppose.

I check for notifications on the @gantob2023 Twitter and Instagram accounts. Loyal GANTOB follower Missiformation has solved The Benefaktor’s challenge from yesterday, and shared some reflektions about GANTOB. This gives me the dopamine hit I need. No messages from my lift though.

Reflektions by Missiformation, using template from GANTOB’s Kompanion Volume

GANTOB

24 Oktober 2023
30. WHITE ROOM

Oct 23rd, 2023

“Zeroing in on the cause of your fever will help us guide treatment”, came the reply, as a host of faces crowded around the bed. Yellow, red and brown tubes were filled, followed by two receptacles that looked like Lee and Perrins Worcester Sauce bottles. X-rays inspected on laptop screens pushed around on trolleys (“COWS: computers on wheels” they call them), rather than the light boxes you see on the TV; no more Dr Kildare. Worried faces. Voices above the beeping of drip machines, syringe drivers and an alarming hospital bed.

Urgent referrals, with the same questions repeated from the different specialists who visit throughout the day. Telescoping time, on lubricated joints, slipping in and out of dimension.

Still for a moment, after all the bustle, I look around the room, taking it in properly for the first time in daylight. Removing equipment and furniture from our view, the room is glaringly white, bathed in artificial light with the red alert storm outside.

Quietly working in the background are nursing staff, also all in white. Periodically a doctor or domestic pops in, uniforms providing additional colour. Offers of food are declined. Nil by mouth, under strict orders of the consultant.

Most of the day is spent sleeping, interspersed with bursts of sharp pain or nausea inducing trips along long corridors, also mainly white, apart from the occasional poster, often legacies from the Covid pandemic.

Jargon fills the air during ward rounds and when on the receiving end of the multitude of tests and investigations.

I work with The Foundation Doctor to capture the experience, dictating the words as she types away on her mobile during snatched breaks. Holding the little screen to my face she helps me select accompanying photos. Google Images usually rises to the challenge, with my amateurish snaps backed up since I acquired a smart phone.

Evening falls, and the room returns to its black and white as the lights are dimmed and blinds drawn. Doctors change shift, but The Foundation Doctor is back finalising this blog with me in her time off.

Certain details are still missing from my story, and other memories are tangled up in my fever dreams. Blogging is helping my recovery we agree, progressively documenting my thoughts as prompts for future “forgetful days”. Anchored in my bed I have a three-letter acronym nagging away, poking about inside, teasingly, just out of reach.

THE BENEFAKTOR, ABLY ASSISTED BY THE FOUNDATION DOCTOR

23 OCTOBER 2023
29. KONSOLATION

Oct 22nd, 2023

The Benefaktor beat me to it yesterday, in his unexpected return. I have seesawed between relief and resentment ever since. I’m glad he’s not followed the fictional John Lennon Jr’s fate at the hands of his equally made-up partner-in-crime Yoko Ono Jr (AKA the original GANTOB). However, it sounds as if he’s in bad shape, still in hospital more than a week after his fall, with physical limitations and significant gaps in his memory. This gives me some hope, however, as it is less likely that I will be implicated in his “accident”. I have sent him a message saying there is plenty of opportunity for both of us if he sticks to blogging on alternate days. If I am posting this as planned on Sunday 22 October then he has stuck to this plan.

I am fully occupied packaging up the products of my first joint venture with The Benefaktor, now that the double-sided frames have arrived: A re-enactment of The JAMs’ LP 1987. You may have seen the videos of the making🎥 and unveiling🎥 of the first prize. It was only after posting it I realised we hadn’t mentioned Curt Finks, either on the side with his Brent Goose Rock story, or the flip with goose photo. Curt would have loved telling us that the birds were not Brent geese. But he would not have been impressed with us “sampling” his work without mention of the author. I will perhaps rectify this on the second copy that I am packaging up now. But I will not be made to feel guilty about it either, because The Benefaktor and I have probably spent as much time reproducing the story in paper and glue as Curt did writing, and he and his wife Norah then endured tagging the birds in the East Anglian fens.

In contrast, it felt too easy cutting out strips rather than “snips”, and sticking whole rows of words in a single action. So we agreed on a “koncertina“🎥 approach to reduce the white space, adding texture and interest, mimicking the GANTOB/ Benefaktor original. This repeated the difficulties pressing the additional thickness within the glass panes into the chunky frame, and the screeching noise that transformed the cats to a bundle of teeth and claws. I close the doors before inserting. I also have a plan for the offcuts. I credit Curt in biro and keep packing.

GANTOB

22 October 2023