GANTOB blog

52. EMAIL

Nov 14th, 2023

Almost four weeks ago The Benefaktor appeared close to explaining how we fell into an agreement back in August 2023. He was never meant to be a kreative partner. The plan was for The Benefaktor to become Brian Epstein to my Lennon and McCartney; or the shadowy figures providing the management and funding for Drummond and Cauty (perhaps one day we’ll find out if the rumoured “Kartel” are involved in The KLFRS as well).

Towards the end of August I had received a rather long email from The Benefaktor’s personal akount (not one of his direktorship akounts). He did not use the name “The Benefaktor” of course – that came later. Paraphrasing, he wrote that he had found one of my Pamphlet Planes under Regent Bridge in Edinburgh. This paper plane was promoting my original Kompetition – see Pamphlet 6 “Kultural Vandalism”. The Benefaktor detailed some interpersonal strife that was troubling him at the time of writing, and how the distraction caused by drafting his email had somehow catalysed that argument, then asked what “it” (The Kompetition I think) was all about.

As already described in his previous post, I asked for some context to his question. At that point I viewed my role in working with some of the kontibutors as “koach”, working to produce a klearer and more kompelling question. The Benefaktor wrote back later that evening, from the edge of a tiny dancefloor (“a boxing ring”) under kanvas, phone brightness turned down to minimise the chance of being seen in all the strobe lights. This time he included his full name and address.

The next steps of our Korrespondence happened in a blur. After the events of a few weeks later, laid out in The House Guest*, I found myself looking back through the nested messages on my Gmail account to understand where I had blown my cover. It was not immediately obvious. If I repeated the details here, I worry that you would be able to deduce the identity of The Benefaktor. What I can say, however, with his agreement, is that The Benefaktor has a very distinctive name. He has been known to talk and write about this in his media appearances and comment pieces. He has also worked previously – in a completely unrelated project – with my husband. This led to oversharing on my part and my use of a name only allowed for his closest confidantes.

GANTOB

14 November 2023

* See Kompanion Volume

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.
51. MID PROJEKT REVIEW

Nov 13th, 2023

I’m glad to be heading home. On the way back I get off the train two stops early (Dalwhinnie) and Ali takes the scenic route home. My post yesterday – about the spirit of his Dad Curt Finks and his celebrity ghost friend – was written without causing conflict (unlike Brent Goose Rock).* As expected in a JAMs 2023: A trilogy re-enactment, we might look to children’s telly for some insight. Blue Cow’s bovine associates might have said that “Everyone knows that ghosts don’t write blogs”.

I update Ali on other aspects of the project, including the plan to recruit 31 volunteers to write all the December blogs, so I can reach 45 copies of the planned book. See my new un-numbered pamphlet “17, 23, 45. You decide” for more. It is being distributed by volunteers across the UK, including Andrew, Liam, Graham, Heather, Dan, Art, Christine, Andy, Nick and Caroline (“The Ten” perhaps). I sent them inserted into Bill Drummond books with numbered titles (17 and 45).

Ali introduces the number 8 into our discussion – the Edinburgh café posts, representing a “middle 8” as he puts it (posts 41 to 48). It was indeed a very long discussion I had with The Benefaktor and The Foundation Doktor. But we still didn’t reach the point where The Benefaktor and I explained how we finally landed on our original kollaboration. Perhaps we’ll come to that.

After yesterday’s post we decide to stop outside Halfway House and we talk about the practice of pulping remaindered books that haven’t sold. I have been using misprinted versions of Kompanion Volume to illustrate recent posts and personalise the copies of the new pamphlet for “The Ten” to keep. That uses spare materials well. I certainly wouldn’t want the produkts of my labours pulped. But is it kowardly to print only those copies that have a name against them? Should I be aiming to publish more and seek a new audience?

When we get back to The Manse I recheck the website that stocks Bill Drummond’s most recent books. The four books published in 2022, printed in editions of 400, are still available at their original price. I know of people who have bought multiple copies. Remaining copies will not be pulped presumably, but it demonstrates the nicheness of even King Boy D’s literary outputs. I decide that 17, 23 or 45 will be enough for my re-enactment.

GANTOB

13 November 2023

* See The Letter in Kompanion Volume.

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.
50. HALFWAY HOUSE

Nov 12th, 2023

The ghost of Curt Finks is communing with a rather more successful author at Halfway House. Ian MacPherson, author of Wild Harbour (1936) has travelled here on foot from a den close to Dalwhinnie, where he has been waiting for the “all clear” to sound. His feet are completely dry. He does not remember where he parked his motorbike. He has forgotten that he, too, is a ghost. They have met here before, gathering when authors come to this cottage for their “retreats”.

The current “solid” resident is an author who we would count as substantially more successful than Curt Finks. He has had a few books published. They were well received, but didn’t shift many copies. Others were commissioned but then the publisher folded. The story of his life. He is staying at Halfway House for a month, taking advantage of the cheap winter rate, while the owner takes the hit for the extremely expensive White Meter heating.

Curt Finks and Ian MacPherson watch their shadowed guest with interest (and envy) as he uses the new tools of the trade. There is a notepad and pen, but they’re rarely used. The keyboard he types into is almost silent. There is no dictionary. This has been the pattern of things over recent years. They rarely see the finished results. At night, the writing done, he sits with a handheld device on his knee, engrossed, occasionally jotting ideas in his notebook.

For this visit, however, there is a new substantial presence in the room where he writes. It appeared after he was away for a few days. Immediately before this departure he had fumblingly inserted things into his ears, talked earnestly into thin air, and shouted to stop. Finks and MacPherson thought that they had been spotted. Indeed, they thought that they had seriously spooked him when he ran out, returned fleetingly for his car keys, and then sped down towards Dalwhinnie.

Days and nights pass unnoticed when you’re dead. The two ghosts were first aware of the author’s return when they heard him ranting at the front door. “Pulp them indeed” he was panting as he dragged two large cellophane wrapped packages into the house. Slicing one open carefully he pulled out copy after copy of the same book, placing a few copies on a shelf and reading another through in a single sitting, nodding sagely at each well-turned phrase.

This piece was kindly contributed by the ghosts of Ian MacPherson (who considers himself just as much of an influence on the Roberta Antonia Wilson character in The JAMs’ book 2023: A trilogy as George Orwell or anybody else), and Curt Finks (who dislikes fake versions of himself on skateboards) 12/11/2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.
49. RED SQUIRREL SKWIRRELS

Nov 11th, 2023

Red Squirrel skirts the drain of The Manse and stands on the solid slate roof. She looks down, past the trees, out over the bare fields towards the drone of the red van that is winding its way up the glen. Her heart is beating fast. Perhaps that was because of her recent climb, or just because she is just a very small mammal. She doesn’t feel small from up here though.

As the post van passes across the cattle grid, rattling its load, Red Squirrel feels as if she is going to burst. The postmistress slows almost to a stop, turns her vehicle up the drive, accelerating to crest the bumps, crunching gravel over weeds, and jumps out leaving the engine running. She runs across to the backdoor, leaving the parcels, letters and junk mail on top of the tumble driver. She looks up at Red Squirrel and winks as she leaves the house, easing herself into the van to make her return journey.

Red Squirrel slips down the drainpipe, manoeuvring skilfully through the window in the kitchen that is open even in November. She sifts through the new deliveries and nibbles the top of the largest of them to inspect the contents. A red corner. Looks promising. A sun faded spine. Yup. She opens the parcel and drags out the huge copy of Bill Drummond’s book 17. She will need the help of other family members to lift this one out through the window in the kitchen, back to the drey. But then she hears a car door close and the heavy tread of The Man. She skedaddles down the slippery white surface and waits.

The handle turns and Red Squirrel readies herself, tail curled around her burden. A narrow gap opens and she’s off, careering across the sharp stones, through the heather, across the burn, into the trees. She burrows for a few minutes and finds her stash, adding the new book to a collection of other number themed Bill Drummond books. She is storing these up for book drops across the UK over coming weeks, c/o The Vixen and other helpers. Vehicles for a new GANTOB pamphlet. A new competition promoting GANTOB’s second book of 2023. She can’t monitor GANTOB’s emails, but she’ll be able to gauge the response from the amount of food left in the bird feeder which she knows is really for her.

Red Squirrel 11/11/2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.
48. NEEDS

Nov 10th, 2023

As The Benefaktor and The Foundation Doktor babble on about things, and pick daintily at their French patisserie like extras at a Swiss finishing school, I am thinking about need, and yesterday’s Nurse Matilda quote. I have demonstrated previously that the GANTOB project has fulfilled a need in many of the participants. It has connected people, fuelled their creative processes, given a new sense of purpose. I need to reignite that spirit.

I have asked people to contribute up to 3 posts for December 2023: a secular, month-long advent calendar, closing 2023 and anticipating the coming of 2024. I imagine kontributors opening the blog each day to see if their piece has been selected, just as I do when I have submitted a story to a literary magazine.

I await the proffered prose with the same sense of trepidation as the questions I needed for my eponymous book over the summer.

Will I receive enough applications to make this blog a worthwhile venture?

Will the applications provide plausible and interesting contributions to the GANTOB cannon, or will they be snippets of dream sequences that build up to some KLF-inspired chaos? If this is a re-enactment of The JAMs’ 2023: A trilogy I probably need both.

And if I do receive a reasonable number of submissions, will they fit together to produce a collective whole, or will they read like a fragmented mess in need of an editor?

I wonder about promotion of this newest engagement with my readership. Will it be of interest to The KLFRS’s Tillerman? I hadn’t heard a peep from The KLFRS for weeks. I worried I was on the wrong track with this blog. But then they shared one of my posts on Wednesday. A much-needed boost.

The pendulum of doubt in the creative process is all too familiar to me from other parts of my life. It’s like closing a deal as travelling salesperson, customers blowing hot and cold, detailed negotiations about final terms. I’ve written previously about the “pedestal phenomenon”(*).

The channel of need in a creative process runs in two directions. Sitting in this cliquey café, watching The Benefaktor and TFD bond, I feel as isolated as when I’m stuck in The Manse in Badenoch, waiting simultaneously for inspiration and for the phone to ring. I need to engage instead with my readership, The KLFRS and readers of The JAMs’ 2023: A trilogy.

GANTOB

10 November 2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.

The featured image in this blog (a version of Maslow’s hierarchy of need) is from Simply Psychology. Inspired from a discussion with my son.

(*) See On Anxiety (GANTOB pamphlet 16)
47. NURSE MATILDA EFFEKT

Nov 9th, 2023

And we keep talking. I tell them about the stress of searching for a job, the deflation of rejection. The Foundation Doktor details the chemical levels in the brain. She is talking in three-character acronyms. 5-HT (AKA Serotonin). She sees her grandfather fidget with the now almost completely healed scab on his head. Though only three months into her job as a doctor, she is already bored with unnecessary medical chat. She perhaps imagines him heading off into a ramble about 5FU or his health more generally and heads this off.

After her account of the effect of antidepressants and talking therapies on the same pathways in the brain I mention the self-help dimension of my GANTOB Book, the sometimes difficult circumstances of my korrespondents, the personal details of my life I shared in return. TFD tells us about transference and countertransference. She launches into an explanation, and I find myself lost in the detail.

I started off part 2 of this trilogy with a piece on “death of the author”. I have been planning to return to the topic, but I cannot remember the details. That is one of the perils of Kreative Tyranny, and the obligation to post 400 words each day, regardless of everything else that is going on. I like hearing about the lives of my regular korrespondents. I enjoy hearing their ideas about the development of the book, or responses to the pamphlets, blogs or messages. I recount this to my coffee time companions and TFD reaches for her phone again, types in a few words, and holds up a meme with the following words printed in cursive script:

“’The more they don’t want me,’ said Nurse Matilda, ‘the more they must need me. When my children don’t want me, but do need me: then I must stay. When they no longer need me, but they do want me: then I have to go.’”

(From Nurse Matilda by Christianna Brand, 1964)

This is a story that I remember reading to my own children, from around the time of the film adaptation (AKA Nanny McPhee). I read them all three books.

I like the idea that I channel Nurse Matilda. But then I recall the unnecessarily long dream sequence at the end of the series, and ever-changing names of seemingly infinite children, and I am brought back to The JAMs’ 2023: A trilogy with a groan.

The Foundation Doktor asks how I’d define need.

GANTOB

9 November 2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.
46. THE BEATLES

Nov 8th, 2023

The Benefaktor is reminiscing about The Beatles. He has been listening to their new (and final) single “Now And Then”. He is besotted. He has seen my post about hearing it on release day. I certainly enjoyed the track, though not with the raptures The Benefaktor experienced.

Instead, I viewed it through the lens of my own fixations, writing: “GANTOB is relieved that somebody has released a song with John Lennon on lead vocals for the end of 2023. Job done. She is now free to take her blog in her own direction rather than striktly following the JAMs/ Illuminatus trilogy structure. Just don’t tell The KLFRS”. I am embarrassed to note that I all too frequently write about myself in the third person, Donald Trump style.

I have read the end of The JAMs’ book 2023: A trilogy a few times, and still don’t think I understand it. Some of my korrespondents are obsessed with the book. A few have “ownership” of a page. Instead, I have been feeling stuck, attempting to shoehorn my thoughts into the events of that book as this blog attempts to re-enact The JAMS’ imagined version of 2023.

Common red soldier beetles (Rhagonycha fulva) – The Manse, Badenoch, July 2022

I make a decision. I will write that The JAMs foresaw The Beatles/Lennon’s return all those years ago, perhaps with inside knowledge from their mate Mark “Spike” Stent, who was instrumental in The KLF and the new Beatles track. Unlike The JAMs’ book, The Beatles/Lennon will almost certainly not be in kontention for the Christmas Number One, but probably not to the chagrin of Paul McCartney this time. No need to repeat this chaos for my own book. And for the second time in this coffee chat with The Benefaktor and The Foundation Doktor I feel a clearing of the air.

The Benefaktor is still wittering away. I hear occasional phrases. “Crystal radio for Christmas”, “Radio Luxembourg under my bedsheets”, “My brother was front-of-house at Caird Hall, Dundee when they played there”. The Foundation Doktor is watching the Now And Then video on her phone. She has heard her grandfather’s stories before. Her eyes are glistening. The Benefaktor notices this and explains that there are now three generations of Beatlemaniacs in his family. He is clearly very proud. This is safe territory for us. It’s how we first bonded after all. Our narrow and deep love of one revolutionary band, then the ikonoclastic ideas of another.

GANTOB

8 November 2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.
45. RETURN MATCH

Nov 7th, 2023

I slunk along Princes Street, then cut through the new shopping centre in the East End to take the best lit route to the bus station. I phoned my sister to let her know that I would be staying with her in Perth that night, but then had second thoughts. I hung up. I would text her later explaining that my phone battery had failed, and I had been refused passage as a result. I stayed instead in a hostel in a residential street off Leith Walk, dreaming about insects.

The following morning I meandered up towards the bus station again, and found myself following in the footsteps of The Benefaktor. I walked the streets that he wrote about at the start of these blogs and imagined myself copying his loping stride. Feeling as out of synch with my own natural rhythm as one of The Benefaktor’s jazz classics I realise that I am being mimicked on either side, and look left and right to see The Benefaktor and The Foundation Doktor respectively. The Benefaktor is on the traffic side, obviously, playing the part of the gentleman. I mutter an uncaffeinated greeting and am persuaded down the steps to an independent café.

The Benefaktor has his phone on the table, zoomed into the last words of my previous blog. So he knew that I knew. A weight removed. We talk quite normally for a while, relaxed even. And we move effortlessly into the purpose of writing, and what we want from life. The Benefaktor is experienced in this, from all his professional roles. After he left the ministry, he explains, he found himself on various charitable boards, then a directorship, and at one point did some media work. He undertook various leadership programmes to support this work, and couldn’t recommend them highly enough, looking at his granddaughter, generation skipped.

I felt small and insignificant against their collective knowledge and qualifications. Apparently sensing my discomfort they asked what plans I had made after the loss of my job and the insecurity around our Highland home. And for once I was able to bring some positivity and “agency” to our discussion. Yes, I had applied for jobs, and yes I was on a shortlist for a completely new role. It felt like meeting an ex but not being pulled under by the usual undertow. I felt no ties to these people anymore.

GANTOB

7 November 2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).
44. KONTRAKTION

Nov 6th, 2023

I feel like a naughty child as I creep back up the stairs in the café thirty seconds later. I’ve removed my red jacket, folded it, and placed it in my bag. I slip into a corner behind a column beside the toilet, and sit back to gain a view of the window seat that The Benefaktor and his young female companion have moved to. I find myself holding my breath, taking up as little space as possible, a silent shadow.

I can’t make out what they’re saying. But catching a few glimpses under the table as I pretend to search my bag, I can see the characteristic “y” of the earpieces to a stethoscope. The Benefaktor is in profile, his hawklike nose marking him out as a hunter. His partner in crime is face on, but as she turns to look out over the castle it’s clear she has the same nose. I have seen enough. I don’t need photos.

Outside, keeping close to the wall to avoid being seen from above, I flick through the images on my phone. I study the photos of the signing of the original artwork that The Benefaktor and I worked on, and find one that we didn’t use – a display of pictures on the bookcase beyond the desk showing a photo of The Benefaktor’s wedding, and two younger generations. The children now into middle age. And the grandchildren in various school uniforms, all teeth, braces and hair. And there she is – medical school graduation, a London university, dated 2023. She must be The Foundation Doktor.

I slip down the steps beside the café entrance and wait behind the bins, invisible as a vixen. I shrink back to avoid the staff as they prepare to close down, and stay in that position as I hear The Benefaktor’s patrician drawl as he descends the steps at a trot that is matched by The Foundation Doktor.

“Keep lights full beam”, he advises. “And no headphones”.

“But it’s just an audiobook”, she retorts. “For research. I always listen out for cars”.

She appears to look straight down towards the bins as she works on the lock, which she then fits back together and places in her pannier.

“Well, you do need to keep going with that”, The Benefaktor agrees. “And the writing. Holding position for now though”.

I share this here so that they know I know.

GANTOB

6 November 2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).
43. KONTRAKT

Nov 5th, 2023
This Kontrakt (our first) was written on the back of two napkins in a café on Princes Street, Edinburgh. GANTOB, squiffy with kaffeine, scribed. The Benefaktor diktated. We have both signed it and also agreed the wording of this blog.

Here are terms:
1. The Benefaktor, and associates, will not be allowed to post on the blog/ social media accounts or send emails, without GANTOB’s prior agreement.
2. The Benefaktor will maintain access to the above forms of kommunikation, but solely as a backup in case anything happens to GANTOB.
3. The Benefaktor and The Foundation Doktor will retrakt the bootleg Curt Finks story (The Twilight Years of Life), posting this in The Benefaktor branded announcements from the GANTOB2023 account on Instagram and X.
4. The Foundation Doktor will produce an image based on The Twilight Years of Life, using competition entries if there is a clear winner by 19 November. She will also animate this using stop motion techniques to share on social media.
5. The Benefaktor will pay for a new book from GANTOB Books. This will be based on the blog – 99 posts (400 words each, except the slightly longer first post), and options for a (genuine) Curt Finks story. The book will be illustrated, in colour, and will be sent to people who have a blog accepted that is based on one or more of the cast of characters previously included in the book, associated pamphlets and paraphernalia, or blog. Either 17 or 23 copies of the book will be printed, depending on the number of applications received. The terms of that competition will be announced separately in early November.
1. GANTOB will ensure that a daily post is made from GANTOB.blog until the end of 2023. This will roughly follow the plot of 2023: A trilogy by The JAMs, but will attempt to be more coherent and believable than that book. If GANTOB is ill or otherwise unable to post she will arrange a deputy to post on her behalf, within these same rules.
2. GANTOB and The Benefaktor will complete the story of their meeting and the circumstances that led to their joint operation, either in blogs that GANTOB will send to The Benefaktor in advance, or in a specially produced pamphlet for a book drop(s).
3. The Benefaktor and GANTOB, and associates, will stop making threats/ attempts on the life of the other.
Signed:

GANTOB and The Benefaktor

5 NOVEMBER 2023

Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).