Red Squirrel skirts the drain of The Manse and stands on the solid slate roof. She looks down, past the trees, out over the bare fields towards the drone of the red van that is winding its way up the glen. Her heart is beating fast. Perhaps that was because of her recent climb, or just because she is just a very small mammal. She doesn’t feel small from up here though.
As the post van passes across the cattle grid, rattling its load, Red Squirrel feels as if she is going to burst. The postmistress slows almost to a stop, turns her vehicle up the drive, accelerating to crest the bumps, crunching gravel over weeds, and jumps out leaving the engine running. She runs across to the backdoor, leaving the parcels, letters and junk mail on top of the tumble driver. She looks up at Red Squirrel and winks as she leaves the house, easing herself into the van to make her return journey.

Red Squirrel slips down the drainpipe, manoeuvring skilfully through the window in the kitchen that is open even in November. She sifts through the new deliveries and nibbles the top of the largest of them to inspect the contents. A red corner. Looks promising. A sun faded spine. Yup. She opens the parcel and drags out the huge copy of Bill Drummond’s book 17. She will need the help of other family members to lift this one out through the window in the kitchen, back to the drey. But then she hears a car door close and the heavy tread of The Man. She skedaddles down the slippery white surface and waits.
The handle turns and Red Squirrel readies herself, tail curled around her burden. A narrow gap opens and she’s off, careering across the sharp stones, through the heather, across the burn, into the trees. She burrows for a few minutes and finds her stash, adding the new book to a collection of other number themed Bill Drummond books. She is storing these up for book drops across the UK over coming weeks, c/o The Vixen and other helpers. Vehicles for a new GANTOB pamphlet. A new competition promoting GANTOB’s second book of 2023. She can’t monitor GANTOB’s emails, but she’ll be able to gauge the response from the amount of food left in the bird feeder which she knows is really for her.
Red Squirrel 11/11/2023
Don’t forget to enter The Foundation Doktor’s competition to win a unique piece of art by GANTOB (inadvertently using TFD’s bootlegged text of an imagined Curt Finks story).

And send in your completed blog ideas for a chance to win the book of this blog.


