Note that image is by Matt Porter.
In another universe Wham! is Number One with “Last Christmas”. But events are rather different in this reality, kommunikated by Mase in this ongoing series of #Demokratisation.
We are fully booked for blogs for the rest of 2023, but if you would like a copy of the forthcoming book and your entry fits into the narrative laid down so far, then we will just need to double up. Numbering conventions will be out of the window, but isn’t that just typikal of all things K. Get submitting. Details on how to apply at the end of the blog.
But for today, it’s over to you Mase…
Christmas Eve, 2023 – lightly snowing. The Justified Ancients of Mumu – Rockman Rock, Kingboy D, and The Benefactor – in their secret underground lair, deep beneath London. Their latest project – the Christmas #1 song Everybody’s Talkin’ At Me by Harry Nilsson (featuring Ricardo Da Force) premix by Tony ‘FU**’ Thorpe.
Huddled around the control board, sipping cocoa, checking the charts. More than just a song – their chance to make history one more time.
A knock at the door… “Who could that be?” asked Rockman from his mixerboard. “I hope it’s not the tax man.” replied Kingboy.
“I’ll get it,” said the Benefaktor.
It was none other than Santa Claus himself! “Ho ho ho!” boomed Santa. “The JAMs’ Christmas #1 hit? I’m impressed! I’ve heard rumors of a special remix by Tony Thorpe?”
Soon Santa was dancing to the catchy beat. “Fantastic! My new favorite Christmas song. How did you do it?”
Kingboy D grinned mischievously. “To win the Kareovision Kristmas Song Kontest, we needed something special to stand out from all the other generic holiday songs. We took a classic like Everybody’s Talkin’ At Me, slapped on a funky beat, and extra flavor with Ricardo’s vocals. Then we had Tony remix it for us.”
Santa chuckled. “How to have a #1 the easy way?”
Rockman chimed in, “It’ll show everyone we’re not just a bunch of crazy old men in silly costumes.”
Santa nodded. “I’m rooting for you! And remember – the true spirit of Christmas is about spreading joy.”
As they worked tirelessly through the night, they felt a renewed sense of purpose – they weren’t just trying to win a contest, they were spreading cheer to the entire world.
The results finally came in Christmas morning – they had indeed won the Kristmas Kontest – thanks to Santa’s personal endorsement!
Celebrating aboard their giant solid-gold submarine, a surprise visit from Tony Thorpe himself. “I heard y’all were using my premix”, he said winking, “So I thought I’d return the favor and create a special dubstep postmix!”
The Benefaktor listened in amazement as the heavy bass and pulsing synths transformed their song into a whole new beast that’ll rock the world for centuries to come. “Wow!” exclaimed Kingboy, “We couldn’t have done it without you, Tony!”
The JAMs raised their glasses in a toast to the power of music to bring people together. Merry Christmas from Trancentral!
Mase
23 December 2023
Image is by Matt Porter, shared on Instagram yesterday.
If you have 400 words to submit, please get in touch. Ignore the deadlines, but please remember to provide an excuse for being late. If your blog is used in December 2023 you will receive a copy of the forthcoming book: GANTOB’s 2023: A trilogy, including your contribution. Good luck!
GANTOB blog 
One response to “91. THE FINAL CHRISTMAS #1 HIT (by MASE)”
[…] pushed me to sharpen up some of the earliest ideas that led to the first book. Mase contributed a post to the second book, for that difficult period leading up to Christmas. As this current post […]
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