In another entirely unanticipated development, I received an email late last night from The Tillerman.
The Tillerman has helmed The KLFRS for longer than I have been in existence. I have always been in awe of The Tillerman. But, equally, I have always been incredibly grateful for the input they provided at the start of the GANTOB project, and at points throughout. I am, indeed, relentless and exhausting!
This is a deeply personal blog from The Tillerman. Get your kerchief out – or should that be a bandana?
Over to you Tillerman…
Have you ever had an offer that you couldn’t refuse, even though every cell in your body screams out that you should?
Have you ever said ‘yes’, terrified of having to live with the consequences of saying ‘no’?
Have you ever had the best job in the world and gone to work every day with a resignation letter and a grenade strapped to your chest?
Out of the blue, living with imposter syndrome became bearable on July 28th of this year. An inspiring author made an eloquent proposition and needed permission and validation. I replied that they needed neither from me, knowing that THE IMPOSTER had nothing to give.
This author then miraculously proved my point. From inception to creation to publication, GANTOB the author, GANTOB the project and GANTOB the book went from milestone to thrilling milestone, and then, a wonderful thing happened. People came along for the ride.
GANTOB became an inspiration. A shining supernova of an inspiration, a demonstration that there is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come.
GANTOB was relentless.
GANTOB was exhausting.
GANTOB was the mirror reflecting what THE IMPOSTER wished they could bring themselves to do.
Now, THE IMPOSTER could see the power of a kind word.
The power of a nurturing suggestion.
The power of a ‘yes…and…’
Dozens more benefited from the strength that GANTOB’s inspiration allowed THE IMPOSTER to summon. A legacy that goes far beyond the book, the blog and these 400 words.
THE IMPOSTER recruited people that could do everything that they couldn’t. And then they waited. Waited for plans and schemes to bubble to the surface, with nothing to add but a green light. The same green light that had got THE IMPOSTER into this ridiculous position in the first place.
But then the shift came, and the switch turned the lights red. Everywhere. It was all THE IMPOSTER could see now. The daily torture of the commute to work illuminated, there and back, by more and more red lights. Stop. Stop. STOP.
So they stopped.
THE IMPOSTER was now running on fumes. Not enough to climb the hill, but maybe enough to fashion a petrol bomb.
It’s right that everything ends on December 31st.
The day before everything begins and everything began.
2024 is a new year.
THE IMPOSTER will paint it red.
If they’re lucky, they’ll take some others along for the ride.
The Tillerman
17 December 2023
If you have 400 words to submit, please get in touch. Ignore the deadlines, but please remember to provide an excuse for being late. If your blog is used in December 2023 you will receive a copy of the forthcoming book: GANTOB’s 2023: A trilogy, including your contribution. Good luck!
GANTOB blog 