Thanks to Ariadne for this lovely connektion back to one of Bill Drummond’s pre-KLF guises: The Manager. I can assure that The Benefaktor and Bill Drummond are kompletely different people. I have had to sit through a few turgid encounters with The Benefaktor, so can tell you this first hand. He’s older, taller, thinner, and has a bit more hair than Bill Drummond. He’s a necessary evil when I am strapped for kash with a projekt to deliver.
Art work provided by yours truly.
I dreamt about The Benefaktor again last night. He was wheeling me down a quiet country lane, in a homemade cart. There are two compartments, and I am stuck in the second. There isn’t much room. There’s all sorts of rubbish in here and odd bits paraphernalia hanging off the sides. An old radio, a broom, a framed seven inch. We stop every now and then and he chucks odd bits of rubbish in. I try to move into the first section where there’s only a guitar but he keeps on pushing me back. He is very unhappy with me. He starts to berate me. I’m still unemployed, what’s he to do with me? All of this has been brought on because I asked him to be a referee for a job that I wanted to apply for. He said that he wouldn’t do it, but that Chas would. Chas is sitting in front of me.
He turns around and I can sense his sticky malevolence. He joins in the browbeating, gesticulating with his squishy arms and speaking in that high pitched gibberish. The Benefaktor starts speaking in the same nonsense language. They are going to give me a list, a list of 17 things that I need to do if I want to get a j.o.b.
Their rules are all very baffling. And make no sense at all. Especially the last one which the The Benefaktor, wagging a finger in my face, delivered with absolute finality ‘And, NO REMIXES!’
All of a sudden, Chas crumbles and I start picking him up and trying to squash him back together. I want to throw him out of the cart but The Benefaktor insists he stays inside. Suddenly Chas is standing in front of me once again, still in the front compartment with just the guitar meanwhile odds bits and pieces keep appearing in my section. Bits of brick and toblerone, a grapefruit covered in ash that I almost step on. I pick up the grapefruit and it’s wearing a fake moustache. The Benefaktor takes it from me, rips off the moustache and says ‘that will be good for T.V.’ The Grapefruit then turns around smiles and winks at me, she jumps out of his hand and rolls away. Chas yelps after her. He then breaks apart into 400 little grapefruit and they all follow her off into the sunset.
Ariadne
8 December 2023
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