97. THE MUSEUM OF THE KLF (by ARIADNE)

Today I’m packing up, again. Leaving the motorway hotel in central Scotland to move into… well, I don’t want to give too much away. I’m looking forward to a change. You’ll need to keep reading.

I have been distracting myself by re-reading part 1 of the blog (posts 1-33). If this is going to work as a book I realise that I will need to substitute some of the “audience participation” sections with more narrative elements. I have plenty more to tell you, largely from my research into The Benefaktor and friends. Again, I don’t want to say too much…

Except to say that some of the revelations focus on Vienna. Which leads nicely on to Ariadne’s second post for this blog (make sure you read her first post too). We’re back with our most popular character, Little Grapefruit, rolling around the city.

Art work by Ariadne.

Thanks Ariadne!

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That night as Little Grapefruit fell asleep under the Spraybanane she dreamt of Vienna but it wasn’t the city that she had spent the day rolling around. It contained elements of Helsinki, Bratislava and other cities that she had yet to visit.

There was a lot to explore in this dream Vienna. After rolling down one particularly steep staircase Little Grapefruit found herself rolling from cobblestones onto sand. She was standing on a beach somewhere back in Finland. Above her the Aurora Borealis glowed a beautiful array of various shades of grapefruit.

She took a roll along the sand enjoying the exfoliating effect it was having on her rind. A path appeared before her and at the end of this path stood a low rectangular building. It looked very dark and like no one had stepped inside for many years.

Little Grapefruit was unperturbed and bounced inside. She found herself rolling down a long corridor, the light was low but she could make out the words SHAG SHAG SHAG painted in large black letters on the walls. She rolled into a large room. The Top of The Pops theme tune circa 1987 played in the background.

In the middle of the room sat a completely white 1968 Ford Galaxy. Surrounding the car were large display cases. 23 to be exact. One contained two tuxedos, one white, one black, with two matching Flying V guitars. In another stood mannequins in long white robes with horns sticking out from underneath the hoods. And in one almost hidden, shoved in the back near the exit there sat with nothing else inside it, one lone, singular brick.

Little Grapefruit made her way around the room looking at everything in these dusty glass cases, large fluffy deer stalkers sitting next to mirrored shades, the charred remains of a wicker man, fake moustaches, one pencil thin, the other heavy and bushy.

There was a lot to take in, but she had done so much rolling and she needed a sleep, she jumped into the deerstalker, snuggling into its softness and thought about her travels. How for such a small fruit she had seen so much of the continent, all on her own. She felt very proud of herself but slightly melancholy as well. As her tiny eyelids closed all she could think was that sometimes life is a very lonely adventure.

ARIADNE

29 December 2023

Any ideas about the location of The Museum? Please post below. I wondered about The Secession Building – that would look “grape” with a grapefruit on top.