I steel myself for the first of four nights. Being on duty overnight has a different rhythm to a standard day shift. There are definite pros – no ward rounds, fewer interruptions from visitors, a clear allocation of tasks. Some jobs can be left for the morning. But there are also clear challenges which I am sure I don’t need to spell out.
I have talked to colleagues and patients about the experience of being in a hospital after dark. We agree that you need to hold on to the small things – the promise of a cup of tea, the surprise offer of a slice of soggy buttered toast. And my favourite – given the positioning of the stairway between the wards on my side of the hospital – a chance glimpse of the moon. I will often slow at the base of the stairs between floors, by the window, to gaze over the trees to savour the lunar details in its autumnal form. It’s huge on the horizon as it rises tonight, with a slight haze to the halo.
I pat my pockets as I approach the hospital, to check once more for my security pass, phone and notepad. I might have some time to take notes, and sketch out ideas for the next few blogs. I’m getting into my stride with this writing malarky. Four hundred words a day of self-reflection? I can knock that out in minutes for my training portfolio. These blogs take a little longer, and I should really add the time that I spend researching the topic – reading about The KLF in all their guises, the rabbit holes and missing links in decades of internet documentation about the mysterious duo, Drummond and Cauty.
I take off my bag and dig out my stethoscope, Oxford Handbook, and a few other essentials to survive the night. I put my scrubs back on, remove the brown tape from the window, and rap on the glass. I slip through the narrow gap that The Benefaktor has managed in his weakened state, and revert to my paper form. The Benefaktor leafs backwards through his printout of The Manual, to find the quote he is looking for: “Be ready to ride the big dipper of the mixed metaphor”. It’s right at the start of the book. He rests back looking again into the shadows, and the silhouettes that pass along the corridor outside.
FOUNDATION DOKTOR/ THE BENEFAKTOR
1 November 2023
GANTOB blog 