The Photographer was on the warpath. He looked like his 8-year-old self in a classroom squabble, a 75-year-old row in the offing. I slipped my phone back in my pocket, stomach rumbling with the late hour.
“An early evening celebration” was the wording on the wedding invitation. We all knew this was to hide The Photographer’s wrinkles. However, my behaviour meant that fury had ironed out any evidence of age. Perhaps that had been his intention.
I was aware that in contrast to my pallor in the church I was now flushed, uncertain whether from reciprocal anger, childhood memories, or embarrassment as I saw my wife looking on. I could not use my near faint as an excuse.
I stammered out an attempted explanation, as I too slipped three quarters of a century to my 7-year-old self. My excuses were not going to help, but as usual The Photographer’s disgruntlement dissipated now that his regularly practised show of petulance had been performed. He slunk back to his new wife, and I accompanied my old wife to our car.
The reception was no expenses spared. It was completely dark by the time the speeches were underway. My wife and I sat at the edge of the tent. I positioned myself so that the screen of my phone would not be reflected in the windows. I typed in the email address from the pamphlet, wrote out a rather convoluted message about finding the plane under the bridge, its rediscovery in my suit pocket earlier that day, and the fact that it had almost caused a fight with one of my oldest acquaintances. Perhaps echoing this last point, but without repeating The Photographer’s foul language, I asked what “it” was all about.
A reply came during the speech from the father-of-the-bride (who was considerably younger than The Photographer). It read: “Many thanks for your email. I had wondered what had happened to that plane. I last saw it plummeting to a ledge on the bridge at Waterloo Place, as one in a series of disappointing launches. I had worried that somebody might attempt to retrieve it, but if I understand your message korrectly it sounds as if gravity eventually had its effect. I have had a series of questions on a similar theme – do you have any kontext to add kolour to your applikation. Yours, GANTOB”.
Why all the Ks? I wondered.
THE BENEFAKTOR
19 October 2023
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