GANTOB has been educating me in the ways of popular music. ABABCB (A=verse, B=chorus, C=bridge). As you might have spotted from my recent blogs, some of this education has been in selected classics of the canon – The Beatles I knew well already; ELO (A New World Record era) were instantly palatable, like familiar friends; and PSB (The Hits) were enjoyable in their knowing way. They were good examples of conventional song structures. The JAMs and KLF are less easy to pin down, at least until their Stadium House period. The JAMs are Dadaist; a kollage. The KLF sometimes go on and on (and on). Take No More Tears for example.
But it is The Beatles who internally soundtrack my somersault down Playfair Steps, halfway down from Edinburgh Castle level right down to Princes Street. Helter Skelter builds in a crashing crescendo before it fades out and then back in again. My cartwheeling descent is guided by the railings down the steps, banging hip, shoulder, skinning hands. It is going to be a bad one. That deceleration of time familiar from previous bike accidents. But I land on a surprisingly soft bundle at the bottom of the steps, hands held to my head after warnings from my cardiologist about the blood thinning medication I take for a metal heart valve.
I cannot be confident whether I banged my head. I will need to go to hospital, for a brain scan and to have my other injuries investigated. And so will the homeless gentleman I have landed on, padded mercifully by a blanket and duvet and some bags of clothes and papers. His companion will need to go to the vet school.
Nobody else has followed me down the steps. My phone is cracked, but functioning. My briefcase lies tented on the paving, papers blowing up into the air. It is cold, and the pain has landed. I dial 999 and signal to my fellow traveller to speak into the phone.
I regain consciousness as the paramedics arrive. I am tangled in the bedding that my new friend has wrapped around me. I have curled up, comforted by the unexpected warmth. The dog licks my face expectantly. ELO. I hear Jeff Lynne’s distant voice rising from another fade out, soaring, a glorious end to a beautiful song: “I will return to Shangri-La/ (I will return)”, before slipping and sliding away into unconsciousness.
ON BEHALF OF THE BENEFAKTOR
AS ADDED TO BY GANTOB
(Very much) Friday 13 October 2023
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