There was an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach as I sat in the library that morning. I put it down to the birthday party. Or the message that I had received on Instagram asking to have GANTOB back.
Knowing that I had a GANTOB deadline to meet did not help. I pulled out my sheet of paper and pen, and leant on a copy of Broughton Spurtle.
Scrawled on my piece of paper I had a few notes about the KLF song Kylie Said to Jason. I had listened to the track myself a few days before, c/o YouTube. I knew quite a few of the 1970s references, though the US TV show All in the Family only with prompting. The Good Life (we had friends in Surbiton). Another show and celebrity that have not stood the test of time. And the 1980s – Neighbours of course. There had been no escaping that. I turned to the notes that GANTOB had given me. Channelling the Pet Shop Boys. Dance music. Stock Aitken and Waterman style intro.
Tick, tick, tick.
Jumping around time: a dream sequence, or perhaps tripping. GANTOB had explained the KLF’s hopes that this would follow their previous number one, but it had stalled well before the Top 40. All rather bandwagonesque.
“I’m going to leave this body now”. The misheard lyrics, transcribed onto one popular website. It’s clearly “party”. I think back to a song by The Beatles: “I don’t want to spoil the party so I’ll go/ I would hate my disappointment to show/ There’s nothing for me here so I will disappear”.
Against my better judgement in the summer of 1989 I conducted a Kylie and Jason inspired wedding. Ghetto blaster at the ready, Angry Anderson and Especially for You cued instead of the usual organ voluntaries, it culminated in the collapse (and death) of the bride’s uncle.
I had earworms from KSTJ nagging away as I walked home, Bill Drummond reciting, “It’s all in the mind”. Still that uncomfortable feeling. I check behind me surreptitiously at a crossing.
There was nobody at home. I avoided the cats, because it was hours until teatime. I gobbled my sandwiches, a banana and picked up my briefcase, returning to the library.
My mind was far from empty as I retraced my route. I encountered a white cat. It seemed to whisper, “She’s behind you”.
THE BENEFAKTOR
11 October 2023
GANTOB blog 